Dear Wholly Living Fam,

August is here

I have been trying to send this email out since August 3. It is now the middle of August and, here we are, just now getting this out. I have been managing loads of change this month and didn't realize how quickly the days were going by and this slipped through the cracks. With that said, there are a lot of good things coming! Keep reading!

Transitions and Uncertainty

August brings tons of transitions for folks, especially those with kiddos. Summer is coming to a close, school is starting, friends are returning from vacation. And this year there is a different kind of frenetic energy in the air with so much happening in our world (Olympics, presidential election....and on and on). There is a lot of uncertainty in our future. Personally, I have been in the middle of uncertainty and waiting for years now as we have navigated fertility issues, I've changed jobs and am still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up, and as I figure out the "becoming" part of being a mom. Uncertainty and change are everywhere around me.

In my haste to lessen the pain of not knowing what is on the other side of this uncertainty, I have:

tried to control my circumstances
checked/zoned out
isolated myself
lived in denial or pretended to be "fine"
jumped into something new and distracting
kept myself busy

What do you do in the face of uncertainty?

I can't say that any of these tactics were all that healthy for me, but I trust myself and know I was doing the best I could in the circumstances I found myself in. These were not things that I was going to be able to easily or quickly get rid of. It required long-suffering, patience, presence and hope sustained over a long (LOONG) period of time!!

I became most aware of my circumstances of uncertainty when I felt/heard myself thinking, "I just want this to be over." I wanted to hurry through this middle part where I had to wait and be patient, where I often had little control. When I found myself thinking that I just wanted a season to be over, I knew I was getting weary on the road of uncertainty and the only way to truly get out of that space was for the season to be complete. However, that isn't always possible.

Many of us navigate seasons of uncertainty through illness, mundaneness of being home with small children, stress of jobs we don't like or difficult marriages/family relationships or even the death of a loved one. We hope (or want to hope) that things will change and get better but we also know that sometimes, this is just the season that we are in. We aren't sure what life will look like on the other side of this season and don't know if what we hope for will come to fruition. And, if we're honest, we spend a lot of time catastrophizing about the worst things possible that could happen, or maybe that's just me!

So, how do we get through these seasons with any semblance of faith or hope intact?

See below for what has actually "works" for me and how I find joy in the middle of deep uncertainty over extended periods of time.

Parenthood Resources

I'm still plugging away at more offerings for parents, but wanted to get your input!

If you're a parent, would you fill out this survey to give me your input on what you are navigating in your family right now. It will help inform the content I'm creating and make sure I'm addressing your specific concerns.

In the meantime, I am including my free resources for parents, including 4 podcasts episodes I did with folks in the parenting industry (I can't get the beautiful pictures to load, so this will have to do!). Check them out and pass along to friends if you find them helpful:

Uncertainty Tip: Accept It

After becoming aware that we are in a season of uncertainty, I believe we have to do the work to ACCEPT our reality. Not that we have to be ok with everything that is happening, but we do need to acknowledge the reality and truth that we are living. The longer we stay in denial or try to live outside our circumstances, the longer it will take to pass (take it from someone who lives in uncertainty a LOT of the time! ha!).

To me, acceptance means recognizing how I feel, noticing the sensations in my body, the thoughts going through my mind and writing them all down. Then I read them out loud to myself and notice any discomfort I have and (this is important) breathe through the discomfort, not reject it. Finally, I recite a mantra of acceptance like...

I am safe to feel and experience all these things
I don't know how it will turn out but I trust that I'm moving in the right direction
This is where I'm meant to be right now
These feelings will not last forever
I don't need to do anything to make this reality different in this moment

I recite these mantras repeatedly anytime I notice the discomfort or lack of control in my current circumstance of uncertainty. When I do this, I find that my mind, body and soul sort of relax. My circumstances don't necessarily change, but my mindset moves from fighting against something to getting into the flow of moving THROUGH the situation.

What do you do that helps you get through long seasons of uncertainty? Reply to this email and tell me! I love hearing from you!

Full, Fun SUMMER!

July was full of time with family, birthday parties, family outings, swimming at the pool and lake, meeting new friends, bbqs with old friends and watching the Olympics. As July ended, we started ramping up for the new school year with my husband going back to his classroom and my daughter and I getting into a rhythm together. Some of these days together are hard when I have to work too, but I am trying to soak up all of her right now before she turns 5 years old soon! I can't believe how quickly this parenting thing is going!

To follow along on socials for more updates, you can find me:

Instagram: @whollylivingandparenting

Tiktok: @tifwhollylivingcc