October and November have been a wild whirlwind of making family members, doing some soul searching and our household recovering from sickness or surgery (my husband's not mine. and he's fine).

I shared last newsletter that I have been feeling like something needs needs to change in my life but was not sure where to start or what exactly it was. So, I started with taking stock of what I was reinforcing in my life. I looked at all the habits I was keeping, both intentionally and unintentionally.

First, I took stock of all the mental messages coming and going in my head and heart. Mental messages are those things we say to ourselves. They might sound like a to-do list or a critic telling you all the "shoulds" in your life. Or it might sound like criticism of others or the things around you. It might sound like why you need to do the things you do: for safety, for approval, for maintaining relationships, for the challenge, for fun, etc. Second, I looked at my routines and habits. I looked at how I was spending my time and energy and how I felt because of those activities.

Here's what I noticed:

1. Transitions take up a lot of mental and emotional space! The last couple months have been full of transitions in our family. School transition, my job transition and my husband working on some extra job duties. My "regular" job was taking up a lot more of my time and mental space than I wanted it to, so I moved to part time (and am very grateful to have that option!). Figuring out our new school year routines took up a lot of space. Then when those transitions were done, I forgot to pick up the life-giving habits that I like keeping when I'm not in transition. Instead, I moved into the path of least resistance. I needed those habits back!
2. Self doubt was a theme in my thought life. Much of what I noticed myself thinking, the messages going through my head, involved comparing myself to others or questioning my intuition, my desires, my hopes and dreams. I was not giving myself the space to actually feel the things I was experiencing. I was putting everything through a lens of how someone else would deal with any given situation or how I "should" handle any given situation instead of just listening to myself and what I know to be true. I had to cut the "should-ing".
3. My values and how I was spending my time were out of alignment. I quickly noticed that I was not being as intentional with my daughter and my husband as I want to be. I was not thinking, reading or talking about the things that mattered most to me. I was not spending my time with the people, places, things that help me stay in alignment with my values. I needed to say "no" to some things, so that I could say "yes" to more of what I and my family need.

After raising these items into my awareness, I've started a plan to slowly integrate these needed changes back into my routines. I'm already experiencing more joy and peace as I walk through this. It isn't comfortable but it's really good. I'll share more in the coming months, so stay tuned!

I would like to tell you that this was a quick and easy process for me and I can give you 3 easy steps to doing this for yourself. I break down a few of the ways to raise your awareness for the need of change below, but everyone is unique and will likely have a slightly different process, so have some fun with it and find the things that work for you.

See below for:

1. October/November family highlights;
2. Wholly Living Parent Coaching update and opportunities!
3. Change tip of the month: Increasing Awareness

On the burner...

There are some things cooking for Wholly Living Coaching. (You probably noticed a new format for the newsletter.) And I've got lots more up my sleeve!

I am also actively working on my online course that will have my standard modules for my S.O.A.R. parenting (and living) method but will also include modules like: finding calm in the chaos, getting to know yourself as a parent, building family habits and so much more. I'm working on some partnerships that will be excellent bonuses and I'm working on discounts for my waitlist.

Sign up for the waitlist to get all the deets and discounts first!

Monthly Change Tip: Increase Awareness

Increasing awareness if the first step in any change. If you're like me and you've been feeling a bit restless, a little joyless, and needing some change, here are 3 things you can do to increase your awareness for the need for change in your life:

1. Write down your values and ideals. If you woke up tomorrow and your life was exactly as you would want it, what would that look like, feel like. What activities would you be doing? What would your relationships be like?
2. Take stock of your habits -- habits of time, thought processes, activities. Do those match up with what you WANT your life to be?
3. Slow down -- when we feel discomfort, this can lead to anxiety which can lead to racing thoughts and frenetic activity. Let yourself slow down...feel, think, process. Writing is a great way to slow down.

Let me know if you try one of these and how it works for you!

Hi, I'm Tiffani, creator of Wholly Living Coaching!

I'm a mom, therapist, change coach, veggie lover, beach comber, picture taker, Enneagram 4 and adventure finder. I LOVE working with people in all parts of their healing and growth journeys to become more of who they were created to be: more joy, more love, more connection, more of all the goodness!

You can follow along with other change, parenting, mental health, and soulcare tips on Insta @tifwhollyliving. As always, thanks for being here. It means the world to me!

May you find grace and kindness today and always,

XOXO,

Tiffani