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Parent and Life Coaching

The most used lie in the English Language

Published about 1 month ago • 5 min read

May 2024

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

Dear Wholly Living Fam,

It's May! Can you believe it?

I hope wherever you're at that you have some sunshine and beautiful spring blooms to brighten your days. I find it very appropriate for May to be Mental Health Awareness month as we are all kind of coming out of our shells and life starts springing up out of the earth. With all the "awareness" campaigns going on, I think it's a good time to do a mental health check on yourself.

Mental health is health...and impacts all parts of our lives.

Did you know the most used lie in the English language is some version of "I'm fine" when asked "how are you doing?" While there is a ton of mental health resources and awareness, there's still a stigma (or maybe just some deeply laid habits) around honestly answering when someone asks how we are doing. Our mental health is connected to all of the other parts of our lives, our bodies, our souls. Mental health IS health and it impacts all parts of our lives, so it's time for us to bring some awareness for ourselves and those around us.

The Centers for Disease Control defines "mental health" as: "our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood."

According to the World Health Organization, mental health is “a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

Mental health is complicated and includes many facets of our every day life. However you define mental health, you know that mental health has to do with the ways that you think, feel and see yourself and the world around you. It's important to keep our minds healthy and go for a tune up if we find ourselves mentally or emotionally struggling, just like we would if we were physically hurt.

See below for a quick set of reflection questions that I use with my clients and myself to assess the state of our mental health.



Summer is coming!

  • If you are a mama and feeling the daunting pressure of your kids being home for the summer without the structure of school, I've created a free download with some ideas and a sample schedule. Check it out and tell me if you use it!

Check out the summer plan

Find out more here!

My new workshop was super fun to put together and even more fun to deliver. I got some great ladies in on the action and got some good feedback.

The recording is now available on demand and delivered straight to your (or your friend's email). If you know an overwhelmed mama, feel free to send this to them or just download it for yourself. What the workshop does:

  • help you understand what the mama overwhelm is and isn't
  • identify what is going on in your body, mind and soul
  • normalize your experience of overwhelm, rage, anger, depression, etc.
  • learn what to do when these feelings come up

Managing Mama Overwhelm!

Get the replay here!

Mental Health Check up:

Just like we go to the doctor every year (I hope!) for a physical check up, it's important to do the same for our mental health. The questions below are not intended to replace professional therapy services, but to give you an awareness of how your mental health is and give you some personal insight into where you might need some extra support. Rate yourself 1-5 (1 on the low end) on each of these categories.

  • Focus: are you able to stay on task as much as you usually do? Are you able to complete a task and then move to the next one? Can you listen while someone is speaking and stay with the subject?
  • Self awareness: Is the tone of the way you talk to yourself generally positive? Do you recognize when negative thoughts are affecting you and are you able to course correct it where necessary with tools you've learned?
  • Social connection: Are you seeing people (i.e. friends, family, loved ones) as much as you usually do? When you see people, do you walk away feeling full and lighter?
  • Mood: Does your mood stay steady for the most part throughout the day and week? When you have a low mood, are you able to ride the wave and come back to neutral? When you have a high mood, are you able to ride the wave and come back to neutral? Do you generally feel hopeful about your future?
  • Flexibility: Are you able to be flexible when plans change without it disrupting your mood or relationships? Can you give people grace when they disappoint you or don't meet your expectation?
  • Energy: Is your energy level fairly even throughout the day? Are you able to "fix" low energy with extra sleep in a day or two? Are you able to do all the activities you usually do (sports, workouts, etc.)? When you have high energy, do you come back to neutral within an hour or two?
  • Sleep: is your sleep generally uninterrupted (not including interruptions from kids or snoring partners)? Do you wake in the morning feeling refreshed?
  • Nutrition: Are you able to make healthy choices for your body about the kind of food you choose? Does your diet include all the colors of the rainbow in a given day or two? Are you able to control cravings for salty or sweet foods?
  • Finding Joy: Are you able to find joy in your everyday life? Do you see things to be grateful for in each day? Can you find a sense of contentment in yourself?

If you answered 3 or below in more than 2 or 3 of these areas, I would suggest getting a tune up on your mental health. You can do this by:

  • talking to a trusted friend
  • seeing a therapist or a coach
  • journaling for self reflection
  • talking to your doctor

P.S. If you need help figuring out next steps, just reply to this email and I can help you get the support you need!


Spring has sprung!!

March and April were chalk full of family time, fertility appointments and getting set up to be a foster family. Honestly, it's been a lot to manage and there have been a LOT of days with more tears than smiles for all three members of our family! We are rooting ourselves in the Truth that we know which is that our family is living out and will have a good story. As a parent, it can be a lot to juggle between wanting to create a home and a relationship that is safe and authentic and connected while also going through the rollercoaster of medical exams and appointments with all their highs and lows while also working a job and running a business. But we are making it and doing our best along the way. It's not perfect and it's pretty messy but it's good. We are looking forward to summer when my husband and daughter are home and have more down time to play and rest.

Things that are bringing us life and joy:

  • date nights, even home date nights have been good for keeping us connected during this busy season
  • outside time: I'm reading so much about the benefits of nature and being outside for all humans, especially children. The sunshine has been so good!
  • letting the small joys of our days sink in - like the below 4 year old fashion. It's always something new and creative with our girl and we are loving this stage with her!
  • Fun family outings: they don't have to be big, although we have had fun going to the theater with our girl for the first time this spring. We also do Friday ice cream, library visits, new park adventures, and bike riding.
  • New books: I've been a part of a book club for a while now and joined another with my coworkers and it's been such a nice escape!

I love that you are here and so grateful for your presence in our wholly living community. If there's anything I can do to support you or help you, feel free to shoot me an email!

with you and for you, my friends.

Tiffani

Parent and Life Coaching

by Tiffani Domokos

Founder of Wholly Living Coaching and Consulting, LLC. I help parents build joy, connection and healing through one-on-one parent and life coaching, online courses and social media content. I'm a mama, wife, friend, therapist and change strategist who has coached and supported hundreds of individuals, families and couples through changing patterns in their thinking, in their emotions and in their behavior around work, marriage and parenting relationships using trauma-informed and body based practices for healing and self compassion. IG: @tifwhollyliving

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